Pokemon Fire-red. The Original Version

by Powerzone Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:08 pm

Chapter 1

Jack's First Day

Professor Oak: Hey? you woke me up. I slept in. First of all. Are you a boy or a girl?
Jack: Oak, you've known me for 10 years! How could you not know I'm a boy?
Oak: Jack's a girls name too.
Jack: That's still no excuse...
Oak: Okay. What's your name?
Jack: Are you a senile retard or what? You just said my name was Jack!
Oak:
We've got to do this thing by the book! Okay. My grand-son is your
rival on this journey. He is a cruel, sadistic brat and your
arch-nemesis. Err...what was his name again?
Jack:.....You don't know your own grand-son's name? Some parent you are!
Oak: Shut up! His name is Gary, all right!?
Jack: Let's just skip this crap and get to the point where you give me my first Pokemon!
Oak: Okay. *yawn* wake me in 6 hours.

(Pallet Town)
Jack: Hey mom?
Mom: Yes sweety?
Jack: Mom. I'm going on my Pokemon journey. Make me lunch!
Mom: How 'bout I just give you KFC money? Mommy doesn't feel like making lunch right now.
Jack: An entire journey living off KFC? I'll become a big fat bastard!
Mom: I'm sure you'll get more money and become rich. Then you can support me in my retirement.
Jack: Mom. I don't give a s*** about your retirement! That money is all MINE!
Mom: Mind your language young man! You're just like your father!
Jack: Father? I thought you were a single-parent.
Mom: Hun, everyone needs a daddy. I should've told you sooner. But..since you're leaving, I thought I should tell you now.
Jack: Tell me what?
Mom: You...were an accident.
Jack: WHAT??? ALL MY LIFE I WAS...JUST A MISTAKE!
Mom: I'm afraid so. I met your dad on a buisness trip to Saffron City. One thing led to another and...you were born.
Jack: Oh, that's great. I was born between you and some disco-lovin' pimp! That's what you get when your mother's a filthy slut!
Mom: And so... your father didn't want to be a daddy and rejected me. I settled down here to raise you.
Jack:
Mom? I know you meant well to tell me that on my coming-of-age, but
couldn't that story've waited a little longer? Ideally 'till after I'm
dead?
Mom: Oh, you won't die. You're my special boy!
Jack: Bye mom....
Mom: Goodbye sweety...

(Jack leaves with a packed lunch and some KFC money)
Jack: My mother's a frickin' slut! I can't believe my father didn't want me.... But I'm so cute!
(Jack arrives at the lab)
Jack: Hey Nameless Aide. Where's Oak?
Nameless Aide: He went out.
Jack: Oh that's just great! He was supposed to meet me here!

(Outside)
Jack: Well, better check Route 1 and see if he's there.
(As Jack takes a step forward, someone yells out to him)
???: Stop! Don't walk in that grass!

That's the first chapter...